I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!
Friday, October 08, 2004
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Mantras for shoo-ing telesales people
If you are irritated with salespersons calling too often? Here's your chance to give it back to them with some fun of course...
- Tell them they must have the wrong number, only God lives here.
- When they call back, tell them this is the devil's residence.
- Hand the phone to the youngest member of the house - preferably under five. If no such person is available, give the phone to a pet.
- Ask them for their phone number so that you can call them back and chat some more.
- Interrupt them repeatedly to describe the beauty of your new toaster.
- Burst into tears when they try to hang up and scream, "Don't leave me!"
- Occasionally start singing commercial jingles.
- Say in between - "Oh no sweetheart! You've done it again! I told you that knife was too sharp! We don't have money for another funeral?"
- Tearfully explain 'It's you, my long last sister/brother!' as soon as they identify themselves.
- Start reading them some of your poetry.
- Discuss what a wonderful world it would be if we were all born with tails.
- Describe your socks in detail.
- Answer every question with the phrase, 'I like eggs.'
- Start trying to give them a psychological analysis!
Got this from here on the Economic Times website!
Saturday, August 14, 2004
Need for Speed
Today morning was like just another morning.
Apart from the fact that it wasn't raining!!
I got dressed in my Saturday casuals and left for office.
Everything was so good ... clear roads ... clear sky ... cool breeze ... doing a constant 60 kmph was really a nice feeling. I was singing to myself and making the most of this beautiful ride on the Mulund-Airoli bridge.
In my rearview, I could see a Maruti 800 gaining on me, and I could tell from the way it was being drive, there was a lunatic on the steering. I took the left lane, and let the car pass. By the sheer speed it overtook me, I am sure it was doing a good 100 kmph ++
I was wondering why people have to speed so much....maybe he was getting late for work, maybe he just found out about his wife running away, maybe someone near-dear is in the hospital, or maybe its nothing but need-for-speed.
At the Mulund toll naka, I saw the same car had an accident. Fortunately, the driver was not hurt. But the car was going to need a lot of time and money in the garage. I could not help myself, so I went to him and asked him how it happened; and why he was speeding so much.
It seems he wanted to reach Thane ASAP, and hence the speed. On the Eastern Express Highway, there was slight traffic, and he continued his need-for-speed. Near the toll naka, a huge tanker took a sharp right to avoid a crater on the road, and our hero was too fast to stop. So in order to avoid the collision, he steered right as well, and collided with the streetlamp. He was fortunate to not have hurt himself.
He learnt 2 lessons today, which he shared with me:
Driving a tanker is safer than driving a car!
Apart from the fact that it wasn't raining!!
I got dressed in my Saturday casuals and left for office.
Everything was so good ... clear roads ... clear sky ... cool breeze ... doing a constant 60 kmph was really a nice feeling. I was singing to myself and making the most of this beautiful ride on the Mulund-Airoli bridge.
In my rearview, I could see a Maruti 800 gaining on me, and I could tell from the way it was being drive, there was a lunatic on the steering. I took the left lane, and let the car pass. By the sheer speed it overtook me, I am sure it was doing a good 100 kmph ++
I was wondering why people have to speed so much....maybe he was getting late for work, maybe he just found out about his wife running away, maybe someone near-dear is in the hospital, or maybe its nothing but need-for-speed.
At the Mulund toll naka, I saw the same car had an accident. Fortunately, the driver was not hurt. But the car was going to need a lot of time and money in the garage. I could not help myself, so I went to him and asked him how it happened; and why he was speeding so much.
It seems he wanted to reach Thane ASAP, and hence the speed. On the Eastern Express Highway, there was slight traffic, and he continued his need-for-speed. Near the toll naka, a huge tanker took a sharp right to avoid a crater on the road, and our hero was too fast to stop. So in order to avoid the collision, he steered right as well, and collided with the streetlamp. He was fortunate to not have hurt himself.
He learnt 2 lessons today, which he shared with me:
- Never over-speed even on an open, inviting road. Especially if you are in a small car. It is very difficult to control the car when your reflexes take over your brain.
- Be very, very careful with large vehicles near you. Even if they seem to suddenly come on your lane, it is scary.
Driving a tanker is safer than driving a car!
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Reliance - Migration from post-paid to pre-paid
It was such a pain, I tell you.
Post receiving an SMS from the reliance people, I called up their customer care division to verify the authenticity and validity of their offer. Yes - past experience with them has taught me to verify their Sms's.
The offer was about migrating from post-paid phones to pre-paid phones, and I was anyways wanting to surrender my reliance phone. This was a too-good offer, since even if I convert my post-paid to pre-paid, and later not "refill", it was a more pocket-friendly proposition.
On Sunday, I visited the Vashi webworld, only to find that I was not eligible. Spent 2 hours there, trying to figure out WHY I was not eligible. Later, concluding that I am wasting my time, and also concluding that I will not accept defeat so easily, I wrote a letter to them.
The letter follows:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
To
The "Concerned" Person
Reliance India Mobile
Sub: Migration from POST-PAID to PRE-PAID
Ref: Mobile Number 003440XXXX
Dear Sir,
I got an SMS from YOUR side about migration from post-paid to pre-paid. I spoke to YOUR *333 officials asking for more info on the same, and they confirmed that I could do so. (Spoke to Chaitali on 25th July 2004 at 1600 hours.)
I went to YOUR web-world at Vashi on 25th July 2004 at 1800 hours, and I was told by YOUR people that I cannot migrate because;
(a) I am a genuine customer
(b) I pay my bills on time always
(c) My name is not on defaulters list on some portal
This is causing so much discommode. I have wasted MY time and money, and energy based on what was told to me by YOUR people. Such a futile exercise.
Kindly do not encourage defaulting and migrate me to pre-paid asap.
The people here say they are not the "concerned" people. Wonder what they are doing in Web-world??
This is a request. Please convert my post-paid to pre-paid. If not, I will have no option but to default and then automatically become eligible for the migration. FYI - this was suggested by one of YOUR people at the Vashi webworld at 1835 hours on 25th July 2004.
Thanks & regards,
Nitin Tabib
Signed on
25th July 2004
at 1935 hours.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Guess what??
Today, i.e., Tuesday 27th July 2004, I was migrated to pre-paid. Yippeeee!
Success, finally :-)
Post receiving an SMS from the reliance people, I called up their customer care division to verify the authenticity and validity of their offer. Yes - past experience with them has taught me to verify their Sms's.
The offer was about migrating from post-paid phones to pre-paid phones, and I was anyways wanting to surrender my reliance phone. This was a too-good offer, since even if I convert my post-paid to pre-paid, and later not "refill", it was a more pocket-friendly proposition.
On Sunday, I visited the Vashi webworld, only to find that I was not eligible. Spent 2 hours there, trying to figure out WHY I was not eligible. Later, concluding that I am wasting my time, and also concluding that I will not accept defeat so easily, I wrote a letter to them.
The letter follows:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
To
The "Concerned" Person
Reliance India Mobile
Sub: Migration from POST-PAID to PRE-PAID
Ref: Mobile Number 003440XXXX
Dear Sir,
I got an SMS from YOUR side about migration from post-paid to pre-paid. I spoke to YOUR *333 officials asking for more info on the same, and they confirmed that I could do so. (Spoke to Chaitali on 25th July 2004 at 1600 hours.)
I went to YOUR web-world at Vashi on 25th July 2004 at 1800 hours, and I was told by YOUR people that I cannot migrate because;
(a) I am a genuine customer
(b) I pay my bills on time always
(c) My name is not on defaulters list on some portal
This is causing so much discommode. I have wasted MY time and money, and energy based on what was told to me by YOUR people. Such a futile exercise.
Kindly do not encourage defaulting and migrate me to pre-paid asap.
The people here say they are not the "concerned" people. Wonder what they are doing in Web-world??
This is a request. Please convert my post-paid to pre-paid. If not, I will have no option but to default and then automatically become eligible for the migration. FYI - this was suggested by one of YOUR people at the Vashi webworld at 1835 hours on 25th July 2004.
Thanks & regards,
Nitin Tabib
Signed on
25th July 2004
at 1935 hours.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Guess what??
Today, i.e., Tuesday 27th July 2004, I was migrated to pre-paid. Yippeeee!
Success, finally :-)
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Things I hate about everybody
The stuff below is not original, but then I don't want to reinvent the wheel anyways ;-)
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the f*** is urs ? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
People who are willing to get off their bum to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*** yeah!
What good is a cake if u can't eat it DUMBO?
When people say "it's always the last place u look". Of course it is. Why the f*** wud u keep looking after u've found it? Do ppl do this? Who and where are they?
While watching a film when people say "Did u see that?"
No Tosser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
People who ask "Can I ask u a question?". Didn't really give me a choice... did ya?
When some commodity is "New & Improved!".
Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. What shit were we using then?
When people say "Life is short". What the f***???
Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can u do that's longer?
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?".
If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?
People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears, Wellington boots?
When you are eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?'
NO! It's really revolting I always eat stuff I hate.
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that's an image I really didn't need.
McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item u are ordering..... It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks........... Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you McTosser.
When you involved in a accident and someone asks 'Are you alright?'
Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the f*** is urs ? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
People who are willing to get off their bum to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*** yeah!
What good is a cake if u can't eat it DUMBO?
When people say "it's always the last place u look". Of course it is. Why the f*** wud u keep looking after u've found it? Do ppl do this? Who and where are they?
While watching a film when people say "Did u see that?"
No Tosser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
People who ask "Can I ask u a question?". Didn't really give me a choice... did ya?
When some commodity is "New & Improved!".
Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. What shit were we using then?
When people say "Life is short". What the f***???
Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can u do that's longer?
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?".
If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?
People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears, Wellington boots?
When you are eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?'
NO! It's really revolting I always eat stuff I hate.
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that's an image I really didn't need.
McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item u are ordering..... It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks........... Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you McTosser.
When you involved in a accident and someone asks 'Are you alright?'
Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
Friday, June 18, 2004
Harry Potter
Was amazing....
I was surprised I would take those pains to watch a mere movie. Well it was different than most times, since I was going to see Mr. Potter and his friends and foes at the Dome Screen at IMAX ADLABS.
Had already booked tickets online for the 10:30 PM show. Was all set to go, and then it happened. The Lord of rain decided to play his best - it began raining cats and dogs. And obviously I did not want to ride my Enfield in the rainy night.
SO had to depend on local transportation services.
Left home at 9 PM.Managed to get there on time.
Saw the movie. 'Twas great!
Move got over at 12:45 AM.
It was still raining.
Fortunately, there was a cab that was "available" and I could hire. Asked the guy to drop me at Chembur station.
Went to the ticket counter at the station. It was 1: 15 AM. I asked for a ticket to Sanpada, and that S.O.B on the counter told me the last train has left, and next train (first train) is at 4 AM.
Why S.O.B?
Coz he lied.
A guy who was standing at the PCO just next to the counter told me that the last train is at 1:20 AM and that I should demand a ticket. When I did, the counter fellow had nothing to say! I got home at 1:45 AM
I got on the last train, thanks to the stranger at the PCO, else I would have had to go thru the inconvenience for seeking other alternatives.
So thats...Happy Potter finally :-)
I was surprised I would take those pains to watch a mere movie. Well it was different than most times, since I was going to see Mr. Potter and his friends and foes at the Dome Screen at IMAX ADLABS.
Had already booked tickets online for the 10:30 PM show. Was all set to go, and then it happened. The Lord of rain decided to play his best - it began raining cats and dogs. And obviously I did not want to ride my Enfield in the rainy night.
SO had to depend on local transportation services.
Left home at 9 PM.Managed to get there on time.
Saw the movie. 'Twas great!
Move got over at 12:45 AM.
It was still raining.
Fortunately, there was a cab that was "available" and I could hire. Asked the guy to drop me at Chembur station.
Went to the ticket counter at the station. It was 1: 15 AM. I asked for a ticket to Sanpada, and that S.O.B on the counter told me the last train has left, and next train (first train) is at 4 AM.
Why S.O.B?
Coz he lied.
A guy who was standing at the PCO just next to the counter told me that the last train is at 1:20 AM and that I should demand a ticket. When I did, the counter fellow had nothing to say! I got home at 1:45 AM
I got on the last train, thanks to the stranger at the PCO, else I would have had to go thru the inconvenience for seeking other alternatives.
So thats...Happy Potter finally :-)
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Will Power....or is it wills power?
As happy as a lark, and as delighted as anyone could get....I have got gmail today! Thanks to a friend who sent me an invitation.
Looks like my lady-luck is smiling.
I really wish I should have asked for something else as well...maybe a car?
Vijay, if u are reading this, you know now what I want ;-)
Looks like my lady-luck is smiling.
I really wish I should have asked for something else as well...maybe a car?
Vijay, if u are reading this, you know now what I want ;-)
Friday, June 11, 2004
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Why?
I have been trying to sleep for a few hours
Suddenly I got up, booted the comp, and started typing this
Why?
I find myself staring at the ceiling in darkness of night
thinking whether I am making a mistake
Why?
Picked up a pack of cigarettes 5 hours ago
and what remains now is only the ash
Why?
As I type this, there are tears in my eyes
I am making a lot of spell errors
Why?
I am trying to do something I always wanted to
I am being blamed for being irresponsible
Why?
My bank balance is almost zero
and I don't seem to be concerned
Why?
My parents keep insisting that I take a job
They don't believe that I can be an entrepreneur
Why?
I right now feel I should punch this screen
and throw the keyboard away
I am controlling myself
and this I know why
My head hurts, my eyes pain
My heart cries out loud that I am a fool
Why?
Most of these are simple to answer
but none of them convince me
Why?
Thinking of what I have lost makes me cry
Thinking of what I have earned makes me proud
Why?
If money is everything, I'd loot a bank
But that will make my people hate me
Why?
This world does not allow an honest man
to do what he wants to do in life
Why?
I want to be liked and loved
but I am being condemned by lots
Why?
If I take a job now and earn money for the house
My dream will but remain a dream
and if I should take a job and let go my dreams, please tell me
Why?
Thousands are born every day and every day thousands die
Am I wrong if I want to be remembered even after I die?
Why?
Suddenly I got up, booted the comp, and started typing this
Why?
I find myself staring at the ceiling in darkness of night
thinking whether I am making a mistake
Why?
Picked up a pack of cigarettes 5 hours ago
and what remains now is only the ash
Why?
As I type this, there are tears in my eyes
I am making a lot of spell errors
Why?
I am trying to do something I always wanted to
I am being blamed for being irresponsible
Why?
My bank balance is almost zero
and I don't seem to be concerned
Why?
My parents keep insisting that I take a job
They don't believe that I can be an entrepreneur
Why?
I right now feel I should punch this screen
and throw the keyboard away
I am controlling myself
and this I know why
My head hurts, my eyes pain
My heart cries out loud that I am a fool
Why?
Most of these are simple to answer
but none of them convince me
Why?
Thinking of what I have lost makes me cry
Thinking of what I have earned makes me proud
Why?
If money is everything, I'd loot a bank
But that will make my people hate me
Why?
This world does not allow an honest man
to do what he wants to do in life
Why?
I want to be liked and loved
but I am being condemned by lots
Why?
If I take a job now and earn money for the house
My dream will but remain a dream
and if I should take a job and let go my dreams, please tell me
Why?
Thousands are born every day and every day thousands die
Am I wrong if I want to be remembered even after I die?
Why?
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Life and death...
Seems so weird. Just yesterday he met me accidentally. Shared a joke. Laughed. Had tea with me. It was all so normal. But today, he met with an accident, and is no more....He has left behind old parents who were depending on him, young wife who has to take care of herself and their little one.....
The thought shudders me..one moment you are alive and kicking, and the next moment it's all over. Not that I am scared of dying...everyone who come has to go. And once you go, you are not there. Period. What scares me is what you leave behind for your loved ones...dreams, sorrow, tears and hope.
The thought shudders me..one moment you are alive and kicking, and the next moment it's all over. Not that I am scared of dying...everyone who come has to go. And once you go, you are not there. Period. What scares me is what you leave behind for your loved ones...dreams, sorrow, tears and hope.
What is this blog business?
Have been wondering about it for quite some time.
Checked Oxford Reference, was futile.
Funniest part, when I ran a spell check on this post,
this site itself does not recognize "blog" *lol*
Then thought, what the heck, best way to find out is create one :-)
So here I am. Trying out this blog site.
Don't know how I came here
Don't know how long I'd stay here
Don't know what I will do here
Dont' know when I will come here again
So much of uncertainty, so should I be doing this?
Of course, life itself is uncertain, but that does not mean we stop living do we?
Checked Oxford Reference, was futile.
Funniest part, when I ran a spell check on this post,
this site itself does not recognize "blog" *lol*
Then thought, what the heck, best way to find out is create one :-)
So here I am. Trying out this blog site.
Don't know how I came here
Don't know how long I'd stay here
Don't know what I will do here
Dont' know when I will come here again
So much of uncertainty, so should I be doing this?
Of course, life itself is uncertain, but that does not mean we stop living do we?
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