Why?

I have been trying to sleep for a few hours
Suddenly I got up, booted the comp, and started typing this
Why?

I find myself staring at the ceiling in darkness of night
thinking whether I am making a mistake
Why?

Picked up a pack of cigarettes 5 hours ago
and what remains now is only the ash
Why?

As I type this, there are tears in my eyes
I am making a lot of spell errors
Why?

I am trying to do something I always wanted to
I am being blamed for being irresponsible
Why?

My bank balance is almost zero
and I don't seem to be concerned
Why?

My parents keep insisting that I take a job
They don't believe that I can be an entrepreneur
Why?

I right now feel I should punch this screen
and throw the keyboard away
I am controlling myself
and this I know why

My head hurts, my eyes pain
My heart cries out loud that I am a fool
Why?

Most of these are simple to answer
but none of them convince me
Why?

Thinking of what I have lost makes me cry
Thinking of what I have earned makes me proud
Why?

If money is everything, I'd loot a bank
But that will make my people hate me
Why?

This world does not allow an honest man
to do what he wants to do in life
Why?

I want to be liked and loved
but I am being condemned by lots
Why?

If I take a job now and earn money for the house
My dream will but remain a dream
and if I should take a job and let go my dreams, please tell me
Why?

Thousands are born every day and every day thousands die
Am I wrong if I want to be remembered even after I die?
Why?